today, one of the army

busy, wiping away dust, organizing spices

preparing for death

saying it directly to cope

I am finally learning

things will never calm down

the chaos will continue until it doesn’t

death dates be damned

I will never have time to read all of my books

to keep the bathtub sparkling

to learn to change a tire

no amount of control

can remove the heaviness

at least the sun is out

at least we are an army

(hectic, nervous, reaching)

at least there have been these years

at least we’ve been here