What happened after that?
I’ll remember inch X inch
She said “symmetry’s important to me”
In the auditorium the pipes ascend
Then climb down patiently
Check, do you have your medicine?
Everything will keep rising,
Falling like this
That’s what makes it all happen
Like a battle song
River’s music that starts so full
Then tapers hollow
Everyone was at the apartment Bob said
Apocalypse Now was “garbage”
Everyone drank and drank and drank to
The marching beat

Behind the ear cage
Is an unthinkable itch.

SHADOW TAG

“Like Tolstoy”
do you remember after
your accident, your lie
what you told me to read?

I think it’s what you tell
everyone to read
not uncommon to read,
or recommend

I drank a beer
For help

The metal tables
Did not belong

And I did not feel at home

It’s just that by now
I’ve found my own
required self –
it’s not so hard

Samantha put shimmer on her lids
lashes flared apart
on purpose?
I couldn’t tell –

A girl has to slip quick
sink into her own shadow

I walk alone, that helps
and imagine the quiet men
who took the time
to consider my own brain.

CORVALIS II

The kind of town I’d like to show Stefan in Sofia
this is America 1 and 2 and 3

Sitting on the bench like I did
working a wedding in St. Paul

The stairs were wet I wrote a letter
the bridesmaids were more beautiful than even the usual beautiful

I wanted a coke the plastic cup
cracked I left a print

Oregon state university football
is a big deal and Jerry Garcia

Things like gelato, espresso,
Indian embroidered fanny packs

I talked to Ellis in a similar sunshine
a parking lot in what’s that town called where the Kennedy’s stayed

Friends in pairs bring paper cups to the benches by the river
friends in pairs and cocker spaniels

Our families floated down the river
everyone was upset

Everyone floated in a certain way
to show how much they cared

IMAGINARY LETTERS

Files
looking 4 it
to be frank
I had a crush
parse down
cut
like vegetables
like cultures
fractured, conjoined
huddled in bars
sick breath,
secrets.

Rare to see
fire and guard truck
roaring down the interstate

I don’t understand the system that is driving
how does it work so well
and also fail so often

Dad tells me there’s a new young
universe, haven’t you heard

He was stuck in traffic when some
teens loped across. From this to that to this.

CORVALIS

Walking across the am/pm parking lot
it’s pm now, the light plum-dark
square jawed crack-up
skids his bike across
the Motor Inn parking lot
and I haven’t got the time
to not have the time

For 3 or 4 days now my face holds the drano feeling
salty waters, underlay of muscle marsh
we talked nature vs. nuture
girl at the am/pm smoking
moon face through the glass
pajama pants alien print
faux felt, faux raven feather hair

Corvalis

I was here before

Now people are coming into their rooms
on all floors there’s noise
rush of cars like bath water
simple metaphor for your
wink and blink
water for your eyes
new vision

And I guess I would be disappointed
If I hadn’t read somewhere
Maya Angelou likes to
rent out motel rooms
weeks at a time
lays stomach down
yellow legal pad and…sherry?

I dreamt of restriction
I could not farm my favorite seaweed salad
slow swim behind the skin, dream stain
when last night I drew
pencil on colored paper
particles so crude
like rotting fabric

Outside they hum “motherfucker” and shuffle on
in eastern Wisconsin
there was that bad motel
all the others full
from a dog convention
we slept rigid
and we were cold

I know that I am lucky.

Would that have made you
any better
the four points of a cross
kissed upon
your shell
the movie made me miss
my grandparents
the structured love of
wartime
volcanoes within men
erupt
as they lose
their cool

REST STOP

I took a break it is too easy to take a break I showed the lake it is too easy to show the lake some days it’s barely there like everything, grey air, other days some golden light, the god of water and earthquakes, the god of choices, doorways, keys, the small key between the ring and copper square, the not so secret code will also let you in: sure, share my house, and when you leave, leave traces, I’ll find them here and there, sweep them into squares, shuffle faces through my mind’s eye's rolodex and next we won’t recall.