You Could Be in the NBA

Follow Your Dreams
Do Your Best
You Can Do Anything You Want

Have Reasonable Expectations
Give it a Try
Sometimes Things Work Out, Sometimes They Don't

Forget Your Dreams
Don't Try
There is Nothing You Can Do

CORVALIS

Walking across the am/pm parking lot
it’s pm now, the light plum-dark
square jawed crack-up
skids his bike across
the Motor Inn parking lot
and I haven’t got the time
to not have the time

For 3 or 4 days now my face holds the drano feeling
salty waters, underlay of muscle marsh
we talked nature vs. nuture
girl at the am/pm smoking
moon face through the glass
pajama pants alien print
faux felt, faux raven feather hair

Corvalis

I was here before

Now people are coming into their rooms
on all floors there’s noise
rush of cars like bath water
simple metaphor for your
wink and blink
water for your eyes
new vision

And I guess I would be disappointed
If I hadn’t read somewhere
Maya Angelou likes to
rent out motel rooms
weeks at a time
lays stomach down
yellow legal pad and…sherry?

I dreamt of restriction
I could not farm my favorite seaweed salad
slow swim behind the skin, dream stain
when last night I drew
pencil on colored paper
particles so crude
like rotting fabric

Outside they hum “motherfucker” and shuffle on
in eastern Wisconsin
there was that bad motel
all the others full
from a dog convention
we slept rigid
and we were cold

I know that I am lucky.

Sleep

Sleep is conferred through grace and sleep is never guaranteed and sleep should be indulged in without reservation, like the intoxication of autumn square dances, and the undigested footage of each grindingly familiar day that scrolls through the commercially interrupted video jukebox of consciousness as it folds into shutdown.
-Rick Moody

I miss you
These days I can never seem to get enough
Performing throughout the day
into the evening
and late night
When the clock strikes midnight
I know I have lingered too long
I think soon
we will be able to catch up

Already

if i could i would thank you.
but what gets in the way.
facts? you borrowed time,
very dailily.
and all the promises subsided,
easily.
did you hear the chime?
knew when to duck your crest?
everyone in the neighborhood has seen us naked.

meditation on breaking up

My medicine cabinet is filled with ancient shit

and some of that ancient shit

reminds me of other things

There is an old bottle of acne medication

given to me years ago

by someone I haven't seen in years

sitting in my medicine cabinet

"My sister never uses this stuff, so I took it from her"

The bottle of acne medication is almost empty

I'm reluctant to face this fact

It's like saying goodbye

again

second date

I want to say to you,

I am so totally psyched about this

in whatever formation, for

whatever duration.

But!

I'm not saying it yet, I'm playing it cool.

for, of course, the hope of a duration that doesn't end tomorrow

and some super social superstition in those dumb games.

this week,

I am in love with the relationship with myself that I am having because of you.

new thoughts with you as filter,

new problems,

I get all nervous but its hypothetical so I can say,

oh, no! everything will be great!

and everything is great. some day spring will come.

I do not use 'in love' lightly

and I will not ever say those words to you.

but to myself, my own primary p., my own wope,

me and my inky hands that I won't scrub for you next time,

I hope there is a next time,

I must be some psycho for learning. this is going to be hard.

the touching point of the assymptote: it does not exist.

But, I am empowered with potential and

totally preoccupied.

you are a big, busy bird and I am

filling my little belly,

drooling on the subway

moonie mooning, gender identing,

(complicit in everything I think is wrong in the world)

and everything that's just totally annoying

expert voice postulating, ringing around and leaking out my ears

rolling my eyes at myself and unselfconsciously dreaming out,

wet all the time, hair twirling,

it is so much easier to go anyplace when there's someplace internal so nice to go.

to think about what might happen and say

fuck it if I jinx this by fantasizing,

if you call it off tomorrow I'll always have

how I felt this week and what could have been.

This idea moved her.
-Gabriel Garcia Marquez

this video game where in the inside of these rings is a rock that you want to explode -you lurk outside waiting for these gaps to all align, the chance to shoot your laser through.

in my own self there is a resistance towards most things outside myself. barriers between this one thing that is me and the things that are not me.

I read things to know that it’s all made up, there is no me separate from any other thing - said it in a theory class, or spirituality, or the history of mysticism, or some science class - inside me I said not that, because it is not what I know, and why would I be one with everything ?