this momentous thing

Today I cleaned my computer and eliminated the folder called 'art stuff'.

because it had everything in it.

contents dispersed yield:

this momentus thing,

another poem about

Being an artist!

that I have written so many times before.

say it in hushed tones or swallow. when I say it I cringe.

it feels so much like what I was already doing,

except now (fulfillment of an ideal) I don't feel so much like I'm waiting for something else

to come along.

it's self-packaging all the time these days

a million opportunities for rejection. mood swing revelation.

these moments with myself that I wonder are connective or delusion.

you already know what you'll say to yourself, so does it count as a poem?

writing it down messily on a scrap of paper

and putting it on her wall. waiting to be made:

you already made that decision,

or, you already know what to do!

or, when you don't know, its not time to know.

or, it's urgent when its urgent.

or, everything is an example

or, pruning the family tree

or, rachel comes up with a truism for everything she imagines she'll ever experience!!

and then,

writes it down messily on a scrap of paper

and puts it on her wall, waiting to be made