Sunday, January 23, 2011

Things That Drive Me Crazy

When I cannot find a toothbrush

Explaining, in business-letter format, for the billionth time, that we are not a porn magazine. Our mission statement if you fucking read it on the FIRST PAGE explains that our purpose is to facilitate the discussion of sexuality, body-politics, and related issues. I don't care if you're not "turned on" by the pictures, they are a political statement, they represent the artist's response to power and gender norms in society

Being asked to drive people to the liquor store
For some reason, it's different if I offer, but regardless, I'm not going to buy anything and you're not going to offer me gas money, just cigarettes I've conveniently quit and

How all my OkCupid matches are vegetarians and/or boys with really long hair

Being condescended to by males without due cause
Wait, what are you writing your paper on? Sensory deprivation what? Wow, torture? CIA? You're so cute, I wouldn't have- are you sure you can handle this? Here, I can give you a hand in picking something less intense- all these law cases look a little - here, how about something on microloans?

Similarly: "You're queer? Aw, what a waste."

&
The combination of amphetamines and coffee

Full moons- I didn't notice until you mentioned it - and thunderstorms
These lights in the library that are fluorescently overpowering and flicker just so slightly and quickly that you think you've imagined it and are therefore beginning to hallucinate


&
Chubby girls with dimples and lip-rings who wear plaid
Philosophy majors, boys with full lips, lovers who recite poetry


How you all never initiate contact with me
How I'm not patient enough to wait, because maybe then you would

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