memories

it was yesterday in my mind

i liked you

i thought you liked me

and the chase began

i've jumped hurdles

made some stops along the way

but you've always been just

out of reach

and now i find out

you feel the same way i do

i hope the finish line

hasn't been taken away

sometimes i hate you

because i never said how i felt

and i just assumed

you knew

and maybe you did know

but i never put it out there

i still haven't

but maybe i'll do that soon

the fear is that it will ruin

everything

but this can't go down

any further

this is my chance

to say what's been in my heart

isn't it amazing when an eternity

lasts a heartbeat?

can you believe she said that?

why am i destined to deal with this

for the rest of her?

did you think

that maybe

if you let her go on like this

it's just going to get worse

by ignoring the problem

you're supporting the problem

she won't listen to me

but i'm not in a position to say anything

get serious

welcome

he's ok

a nice boy

a good heart

but maybe too desperate to please.

this bothers me.

i think i'd rather be angry at someone for being themselves

than for being something i want them to be

being fake

for companion's sake

only leads to disharmony

and distrust

i don't know what you're going to do

behind my back

but i know when i see you again

you'll greet me as you always do.

i can read the truth behind your teeth

the burden

i see the end and it saddens me

this is something that shouldn't have happened

i could have stopped it

i SHOULD have stopped it

but i let myself get in the way

next time, i need to leave myself

and let the body do what the mind

is afraid of

i wouldn't think of the consequences

but as of now

i can't stop thinking about what could have been

i'm fine the way i am

i would never want to be a god.

it must be difficult being omnipresent

and omniscient

when not everyone cares about you.

understanding

it takes a long time

to grow

to know

to show

we all strive to understand ourselves

that winding road is unavoidable

but the harder road to travel

is the one in which

you know i know

when someone says my name

and the first thing you think is

he can do it

he doesn't need us anymore

but he still wants us

he loves us

he gives us all his love

7.2 on the heartbreak scale

These days

my life is steady

no movement

no change

except for those brief

"oh hello"'s.

which sets me off

i'm a king

i'm a lion

live like a lion

love like a lion

and then

it's all over

back to school

for this boy with a heart-sponge.

what?

when all the words come out

they fail me

struggling

leads to clarity

pass the water

happy new year

it's been sixteen days

since i said i would change

but what of it

how can a person change so much so soon

actions speak louder than dreams

i still believe that i can become that person that

I

dreamt of

in front of friends and acquaintances

no, a heart to change the world

will come eventually

but of course i'd rather

sooner than

later

my body may not feel it

but my mind knows it

until then

keep dreaming for future days

that have passed many times before

make the cold go away

is it help

i took my time in addressing the situation

i inhaled

held my breath

for a

long

time.

it's not that i'm confused

it's that

i don't know exactly how you feel

and how can i help you

if you won't help yourself

the only way to step forward is to step back

okcupid

it was a cold evening

when i became

the man

i am today

oh?

love is a complicated man.

he is misused, abused

not used.

when will love be honest with himself

and the people he affects every day?

decency

there are no bad words.

but i could never bring myself to say ______.

i would never be taken seriously again.

rambling

as i sit here

my heart grows heavy.

it is harder for me to stand

to think

to write

to do

anything

i don't really know what to think

should i even bother

that thought doesn't even cross my mind anymore

so things haven't always gone the way i'd like them to.

but is that so bad?

things sure would be boring if everything happened the way i wanted them to.

do i always enjoy the challenge? of course not

but when things do go my way

i can appreciate it

so

much

more...

bang it out

shab kal oo eaohdn?

feiwewh!

ncnclwswpakpak.

ok

i've moved on
i feel better

sometimes i don't do what i should
and i blame it on everyone else

but i'm better than that
or at least i try to be

anger is just a five letter word

help

just something

anything

oh no

i didn't mean to

it just

happened

i have nothing and everything

a man walks into a room

sees a chair

a couch

a door

"sit down" he hears

his love

his friend

a man walks out of a room

he is alone

tired

cold

hungry

but happy