on the first night of the year
I dreamt I found a bathtub filled with warm water, with some dirt at the bottom
but I did not mind.
I climbed in for a minute to watch the sexy videos on the flat screen,
but I could tell someone was coming. and I slinked out and back in my clothes.
(persistent lack) I have had this dream for years,
alone or with a partner, running from place to place.
cannot find a place to be alone and do it.
when I go to a new place I believe my flaws will not come with me,
and I remind myself to take time to pack them, too.
the nice thing about the new year is that you do not need a suitcase
everything you've got just comes along.
according to my phone the fireworks started at 11:58
the two of us saw four sets from on top of the roof.
I am always the one to mention what has happened,
but this non-mutuality I can handle.
I almost do not marvel at what energy is not there.
(fulfillment of an ideal) we can stand here laughing.
two and a half years of wishing we'd drink together- and now.
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