weird chess

i thought i just liked the patterns and shapes
but really i wanted to kill them
now i wonder, who, when i said
i really just wanted to kill them

i thought i was lonely, looking for love
but really i wanted a girlfriend
now i wonder, what, when i was like,
really just wanted a girlfriend

i thought i was okay, doing alright
but really i wanted to kiss them
okay, fuck you fuck this stupid shit fuck fuck
when really just wanted to kiss them

i thought i was winning, winning the fight
but really was losing against them
why did i think i was winning—against whom!?
ohh i just was losing against them

when i was just wanting, wanting to kiss them,
i really just wanted a girlfriend
i really just wanted, wanted to kill them,
but really, just losing against them