UGH, OODIE!

I.)
Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where everyone around you is describing chili cheese fries in separate conversations, as though they're a brand new fad, and you think, "How was I so blessed as to have privileged access to this apparently untapped part of the collective unconscious?"

And then you remember.

II.)
I have a confession.

There is a force in my life named "Oodie."

Oodie tells me what to do and always wants to watch tv.

Oodie hates going out, and makes alienating conversation.

I think Oodie taught me about chili cheese fries.

Oodie knows everything.


Whenever I forget about Oodie, I feel horribly alone.

Given Oodie's influence, it's shocking how often I forget her.

Oodie makes me read Richard Brautigan all the time but then tells me I shouldn't like it.

Oodie ruined my last Relationship

he thought Oodie was a dude; he just told me. "I thought Oodie was a dude." Like that.

It was kind of funny.

Oodie is always saying things like "kind of."

Oodie infected me with vagueness.


I wanted to write a villanelle about Oodie

but she undercut my confidence.

Oodie isn't always female, I guess, but she has a very earthy energy.

That's what I love about her.


III.)
Wall mold multiplying
destructive, but without malice.
Like me, like Oodie.
"Don't worry," I want to say, "I am more mold than woman."