If We Wait

what is the universe trying to get me to tell myself?

That logistical difficulty is a constant, and I am not going to be able to beat it, at least not within urban space, or at least not within any kind of connectivity. that this is insanity, get out, or recognize that you are not here for not loneliness, but you are here because you want to be and you haven't explained why yet, that this game of getting everything under control is not the way things work, that you are going to have to chill. out.

that it is not easy, that there is no cheating, that your work, and you, are not the most important thing, and that you must remember every one else more. that convenience is a (misplacement of morality), that you are still complicit in everything you think is wrong with the world, that you are human, that you can experience things with lightness, because you are laughing.

That you are not present in this life pattern in a long term way, that you cannot really even imagine that the seasons will cycle more than one more time ahead of you, which is why the seasons are so beautiful to you, that you should not worry about what you cannot conceive, even small ones. That waiting is, that most of life is spent waiting, that when you don't know it's not time to know, so when you can't do it's not time to do!

That you know you can't expect to really feel like you've finished anything for another 7 to 17 more years, that you are so much still in sorting that your gut doesn't even know which, yet. that more time ought to be for absorbing information, that you have a lot to learn, that you need to return those library books so you can get some new ones.

That the only reason you are not calm is because you don't want to be, that you cannot place your faith in space, that externalizing your desire to know is a risky game, that anything you will ever accomplish outwards is only a trickle out of what you will manage to do within yourself, and so you better get content with you and do this time within yourself. that you will always be cultivating patience, that you are still afraid of relying on your body, that you are scared of your body, that you are all you've got.

5AM Monday, Jan 17th to May 1011: Smith-9th street Station, No Manhattan bound F train

Late May 2011 to Spring 2012: Smith-9th street Station closed for Rehabilitation

Spring 2012 to Fall 1012: No Coney Island bound F train

THE CULVER VIADUCT REHABILITATION PROJECT!!!

THE CULVER VIADUCT REHABILITATION PROJECT!!!