Saturday, July 9, 2011

STRONG BACK BUG BACK

Always I'm going to the doctor
Always I'm "I can't remember"
Can't remember what happened the last time
I went I
am always saying "what's WRONG with me
am I filled with
fungus or
flowers or
both?
I'm so drunk!
The doctor, a woman, always staring off
remembering

her mother's sacrifices

her old friends, long estranged
taking slower paths and
sleeping on rocks
bathing suits untied and oh!
I am always saying
"I'm a good girl"
my mother always in the room...

(my favorite book of poems
was written in the winter:
she goes to the herbal doctor;
new england is awful)

I am always
wondering about phantom bugs
and my mother and
what would happen if you
ignored them and
what if bugs gave up and
I am always
going to the doctor and
shielding myself from bugs
joking with my mother
asleep on rocks with
bathing suit untied I'm
slower and slower like a cave
inside I'm
filled with flowers and fungus I'm
going nowhere, going to the doctor
looking at her diploma her
faraway gaze she's so drunk!
her long nights, her mother
my long nights, my mother

the herbal doctor

the stalagmites inside me
the sudden flash of bugs
the absence of bugs
I am always
forgetting where my body is
in time always
draped over rocks, aging
inside alone
all the stalactites inside
centuries and
centuries and
centuries

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