its not over
it's not over
it's not over
its not over

impossible to think of you without thinking about cancer

Eeemmmooo

I love
the way Cedric Bixler
screams
at the end of
"Invalid Litter Dept."

sad to see it go

i used to think
it was everyone else

that was missing something
but i think now

that i'm the one
who's missing out

on all the fun
that i thought i was having

IMAGINARY LETTERS

Files
looking 4 it
to be frank
I had a crush
parse down
cut
like vegetables
like cultures
fractured, conjoined
huddled in bars
sick breath,
secrets.

Rare to see
fire and guard truck
roaring down the interstate

I don’t understand the system that is driving
how does it work so well
and also fail so often

Dad tells me there’s a new young
universe, haven’t you heard

He was stuck in traffic when some
teens loped across. From this to that to this.

CORVALIS

Walking across the am/pm parking lot
it’s pm now, the light plum-dark
square jawed crack-up
skids his bike across
the Motor Inn parking lot
and I haven’t got the time
to not have the time

For 3 or 4 days now my face holds the drano feeling
salty waters, underlay of muscle marsh
we talked nature vs. nuture
girl at the am/pm smoking
moon face through the glass
pajama pants alien print
faux felt, faux raven feather hair

Corvalis

I was here before

Now people are coming into their rooms
on all floors there’s noise
rush of cars like bath water
simple metaphor for your
wink and blink
water for your eyes
new vision

And I guess I would be disappointed
If I hadn’t read somewhere
Maya Angelou likes to
rent out motel rooms
weeks at a time
lays stomach down
yellow legal pad and…sherry?

I dreamt of restriction
I could not farm my favorite seaweed salad
slow swim behind the skin, dream stain
when last night I drew
pencil on colored paper
particles so crude
like rotting fabric

Outside they hum “motherfucker” and shuffle on
in eastern Wisconsin
there was that bad motel
all the others full
from a dog convention
we slept rigid
and we were cold

I know that I am lucky.

notes on a chart on/in a cabbage patch

The cabbage, my love.

enough food for a feast, an abundant bloom in shades of green and purple

utilitarian stalwart of the enchanted brassica genus,

those healing prodigies of the mustard family.

cabbages! and their ability to break down and become

exactly what my stomach needs to feel good

the food that makes it possible to eat food

who would think that such a pungent specificity would belay such edible altruism?

you, cabbage, are the center of my attention and then repay me, support me, throughout my every eating day.

oh cabbage,

In the popular imagination, what other vegetable still grows in a patch?

I am honored by my derisive association with your home,

don't be so cabbage patch must mean something like don't be so saccharine or so uncool.

but I am embracing you

I'll imagine my covers are your outer leaves and I, I am in a cabbage patch. sweet and exhausting.

I choose to immerse myself in you, cabbage. it's time I know you if you model me so well.

But wait, there is something exciting happening at the base of the Magic Crystal Tree.

Code Green ... Mother Cabbage is in Labor!

The sonogram is glowing pink, it looks like it is going to be a girl.

She has green eyes. Our intern remembered to fertilize the patch so this baby has auburn curls!

It's a beautiful Newborn girl. Would you like to help name her?

woah. um.

this?

fascinated, I preemptively apologize to myself for intrigue looking like irony,

guilt is an important motivator, because ironic consumption is consumption, too

and I don't know even of it is- which is a whole different story.

but what is the relationship between repression and the cabbage patch?

world of euphemism and false sanitation. are these my people?!

and how do I Own It when stating the phrase aloud makes me try to be tough and

ownership is a possessive concept that I don't want to foster too deeply.

and I do not like euphemisms, I don't even like metaphors

my vagina is not a cabbage that gets fertilized to grows babies while sitting under the magic crystal tree.